


Jealous

by angelsfalling16



Series: 20 First Kisses [23]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Jealous Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, SnowBaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24527197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsfalling16/pseuds/angelsfalling16
Summary: After catching Simon making out with someone underneath the football stands, Baz plots a way to break them up while Simon comes to terms with his feelings for someone different.
Relationships: Simon Snow/Original Character, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: 20 First Kisses [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1080417
Comments: 15
Kudos: 201





	Jealous

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one 20 first kisses style, and it was a lot of fun. I miss writing those fics sometimes. I hope you all like this fic!

**Baz**

“What the _hell_?” I shout, not caring about lowering my voice. I feel Dev tugging on my arm, but I’m frozen to the spot, unable to look away from the sight in front of us.

“Baz, let’s just go before they see us.”

“But look at the two of them,” I say, gesturing at the couple making out, barely hidden by the football stands. “How can Simon be kissing _Andi_?”

“Because he likes them?”

I sneer at Niall, and he snaps his mouth shut.

“I thought he was still with Wellbelove.”

“They broke up a couple of weeks ago. Didn’t you hear?”

Of course Dev would know that. He and his dirty crush on her would betray me in a second.

“No, I obviously did not know that,” I hiss.

Dev pulls on my arm again, harder this time, and I finally go with him, shaking off his touch and all but stomping away from Simon and his unsightly escapades with one of my own teammates.

Andi is the second-best player on the team (behind me, of course), and up until now, I considered them a friendly acquaintance, rather than one of my adversaries, but that just changed.

“Why Andi of all people?” I ask, mostly to myself, but Dev responds anyway.

“I thought you said Andi just likes to mess around.”

“They do.”

“So maybe Simon is just messing around with them.”

“And how would that make this better?”

It would be one thing if Simon actually cared about them, but knowing that he’s just having fun means that he could be kissing lots of people, which is so much worse than him kissing the same person multiple times.

“Why do you care?” Dev asks.

“I don't.”

“Liar. Baz, we’re not stupid. We know how you look at him and why you have yet to find a way to take him down like your aunt wants you to.”

“It doesn't matter,” I say, neither confirming nor denying my feelings for Simon. I know that it’s no use. “He's with someone else.”

“It could all blow over. Maybe he was just experimenting.”

“It still doesn't matter because he will never like me. Now, let’s drop it. I don’t want to think about this anymore.”

But I can’t stop thinking about it

That night, as I pretend to be asleep and definitely not staring at Simon through the darkness, at the way the moonlight illuminates his freckles, I keep replaying what I saw over and over in my head. 

Simon’s hands in Andi’s hair. Andi’s hand slipping into Simon’s back pocket. Simon pulling them closer and smiling widely at them.

The images are forever burned into my mind, and something sharp and painful flares up in my chest.

I was admittedly jealous when Simon started dating Wellbelove, but this is different. This is new.

Maybe some part of me believed that if Simon ever broke up with her, he would come to his senses and want to be with me. It’s a ridiculous fantasy, which is why I’m sure the real reason I’m upset is that I had just hoped to never have to see him with anyone else or see him doing anything like that. He and Wellbelove always seemed to be against any sort of public displays. I rarely even saw them hold hands.

Seeing Simon kiss someone is a new, painful thing that threatens to tear me apart.

I can’t do anything to change it, but I _can_ avoid Simon for the rest of eight year and try to forget about it. Which is exactly what I plan to do. After tonight, there will be no more thoughts about Simon kissing _anyone_.

**Simon**

Andi walks by mine and Penny’s table at breakfast, and they grin when they see me, throwing a knowing wink in my direction. I smile back before turning back to my breakfast, feeling a strange little flutter in my stomach.

“Simon, tell me you didn't,” Penny says, and I shrug sheepishly at her.

“I did.”

She groans, and I can already tell what she’s thinking.

“It was just a kiss,” I say. A really nice kiss, but still, it was just one kiss. It’s not a big deal.

“Come on, Simon. _Andi?”_

“There's nothing wrong with Andi.”

“I know, but they kiss _everyone_. It didn't mean anything to them.”

“So? It didn’t really mean anything to me either. I was just um…” I trail off. I’m not sure what it was exactly.

I ran into them after football practice, and we got to talking. And then, I found myself wondering what it would be like to kiss them, and they didn’t seem against it, so I just went for it. I don’t plan on doing it again. I don’t have feelings for them.

“Seeing what it was like to kiss someone other than Agatha?” Penny suggests when I don’t continue what I was saying.

I shrug. “Yeah, I guess.”

She thinks about it for a moment before saying, “Is there someone who you’re hoping to... _experiment_ with next?”

I feel my face warm immensely as one person comes to mind. Someone who I can never stop thinking about, no matter how hard I try to push them out of my mind.

“Kind of,” I admit. “I think I like someone actually.”

“Ooh, do tell,” Penny says, leaning close to me. She’s never been one to be interested in gossip, but she seems particularly intrigued by what I’m about to say.

I look down at the table, feeling a mix of anxiety and excitement. It’s a weird experience because I never had to tell her how I felt about Agatha. That was always obvious, but this is different.

“No judging,” I tell her.

“Promise.”

I take a deep breath, then, all in a rush, I say, “It’s Baz.”

“I knew it!” Penny exclaims, making people turn their heads in our direction to see what’s going on.

“Shh. I don’t want everyone to know. Wait. How do _you_ know?”

“Simon, please. You're obsessed with him.”

“I wouldn't say _obsessed.”_

Penny scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“Fine. Maybe I am the tiniest bit obsessed. But in my defense, he has plotted against me in the past.”

“I can’t believe you’re in love with a vampire,” she says.

“I'm not _in love_ ,” I say defensively and possibly a little too loudly because it causes someone to stop suddenly just beside our table.

Swallowing nervously, I look up, hoping to see just some nosy first year, but of course, that’s not my luck. Baz sneers at me in disgust before turning and continuing on his way, Dev and Niall hurrying after him.

“Thanks, Penny,” I groan once Baz is out of earshot, letting my head fall onto the table, narrowly missing the plate of butter. “Thanks a lot.”

She laughs lightly at my mortification, and I groan again.

I can’t believe that I just embarrassed myself like that in front of Baz. I mean, I’ve embarrassed myself in front of him plenty of times before, but this was worse. I can only hope that he didn’t hear everything we said so that he doesn’t know that we were talking about him.

That would be even worse.

**Baz**

“ _Love_?!” I exclaim as soon as I step out of the dining hall. “Simon is _in love_ with them?”

“I'm pretty sure he said he _wasn't_ in love,” Dev says.

“And you don't know that he was talking about Andi,” Niall adds unhelpfully.

“Who else would he be talking about the day after we caught him kissing Andi?”

The two of them are silent as they catch up to me, struggling to match the quick pace that I’ve set.

“We have to do something,” I decide.

“You want to break them up?” Niall asks.

“Yeah. Sure. Break them up,” I say, distracted by all of the ideas that are already running through my mind.

Forget ignoring Simon and forgetting about the kiss. Things just got a lot more serious, and I do not want to have spend the rest of the year seeing him in love with someone else. I have to put an end to this before it’s too late.

A more permanent ending than just breaking them up.

“You aren't going to physically harm either of them are you?” Dev asks like he knows that I don’t just intend to break them up.

“No. Of course not.”

“I wish that sounded more believable.”

I ignore him and begin plotting out what I’m going to do about this.

It takes staying up all night down in the Catacombs, but I finally come up with the perfect plan, and it begins with confronting Simon. I’m not sure what exactly I’m going to say, but it’s going to be something along the lines of he’s making a mistake and that Andi isn’t the right partner for him.

If that doesn’t go well — which I know it won’t — then I will move onto part two, which has something to do with getting Andi as far away from Watford (and Simon) as possible.

I plan to talk to Simon the next day, after classes are over and I can find a way to get him alone. I want to do this as soon as possible.

**Simon**

“I’m going to talk to Baz,” I tell Penny the next day at lunch.

“About what?”

“I’m going to tell him how I feel about him.”

“Wait it’s only been a day. Why are you moving so quickly?”

“Speak now or forever hold your peace, right?” I say. Now that I’ve said how I feel about him out loud to someone, I don’t think I can stop until I know if there is a possibility that Baz feels the same.

“That’s for _weddings_ Simon. I don’t think that applies here. Don’t you think you should take some time to think about it before you rush into it?”

“If we’re being honest, I’ve been thinking about it for _years._ I was just never sure of my feelings until now. And I need to know if he feels the same.”

“What if you get hurt?”

I’ve been asking myself that same question since I decided to talk to him, but I’ve decided that knowing the truth has to be better than always wondering.

“At least I'll know.”

She sighs like she knows there’s no use trying to argue with me on this. I’ve already made up my mind. I just wanted her to know what I will be doing in case something goes horribly wrong, and for some reason, she can’t find me. There is no telling how Baz will react.

“Are you sure about this?

“Surer than I've been about anything in my life.”

“Okay. Good luck. When are you going to tell him?”

“Tonight after dinner.”

It’s soon, but I can’t contain my feelings any longer. I have been unknowingly suppressing them for long enough now. It’s time for me to let go and act on them.

I just hope I don’t get hurt in the process of doing so. I hope he feels the same way.

**Baz**

It’s almost time for dinner, and I still haven’t found a good opportunity to talk to Simon. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to find him before dinner so that I can talk to him, but I’m running late after football practice.

Dev and Niall are walking with me, and it’s Niall who sees them first. I think he tries to usher me past, but it’s too late. I’ve already seen them.

“Seriously?” I say, managing not to shout this time. “Is that Andi’s special place they take people or what?”

Football practice just ended and they have already found someone to make out with under the stands. Someone who is unmistakably not Simon.

I feel my hand clench into a fist, ready to hit Andi. How could they do this to Simon?

I’ve taken a step towards them when someone yanks me back.

“Don’t,” Dev says. “It’s not worth it.”

“I have to do something.”

“No, you don’t. You’ll get into trouble.”

“Fine. I won’t hit them, but I have to tell Simon.”

A look passes between Dev and Niall, and I can tell that they think that I’m going to do it to be cruel, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Yes, I hate the thought of Simon being with someone else, but I hate that person cheating on him even more. Simon deserves to know the truth. I want to try to save him from the heartbreak of being strung along by someone who obviously doesn’t care about him and finding out the truth on his one.

I keep walking away from Andi and their cheating ways, trying to come up with a way that I can break this to Simon without him hating me for it.

Dev and Niall don’t understand why I’m doing this, why I can’t just leave Simon alone, so we decide to part ways. It’s a good thing because it won’t do to have an audience when I do this.

Deciding to skip dinner and talk to Simon afterwards, I go up to our room to shower and then head down to the Catacombs to feed and think this through some more.

I don’t think that there’s an easy way to tell Simon that his partner is cheating on him, so I will just have to tell it to him straight. He already hates, so really, I’m the best person for this job. It’s not likely that he can hate me anymore than he already does.

He can get as mad at me as he wants. I just want him to know the truth.

**Simon**

Baz isn’t at dinner, which makes me nervous, but it's fine. I can wait until we're in our room to confront him. That will actually be better because if he decides to get all murdery on me after I tell him how I feel, the Anathema will kick in and protect me.

I'm so nervous about what I'm going to do that I can't eat. Not even the steaming plate of sour cherry scones looks tempting.

Penny tries to get me to eat, but I'm worried I'll be sick before I manage to say what I need to say to Baz. What happens if he doesn’t feel the same way about me? Will it change things between us? Will he be so disgusted that he’ll be the one requesting a roommate change this time?

I hate thinking that finding out that I like him will turn him against me even more, but that’s why I need to know the truth. I need to know if he’ll only ever hate me, or if there is a good reason that I’ve fallen for my vampire roommate.

Baz is waiting under a tree just outside of the Tower when Penny and I step outside, and I falter in my steps as he waves at me, a strange occurrence. The most he ever does to acknowledge me is sneer, so this is different. Is it possible that he already knows that I want to talk to him?

"You’ve got this," Penny whispers, giving my arm a squeeze before heading off toward her room. I wish she would stay, if only to bear witness to whatever Baz decides to do.

"Hi," I say warily as I make my way over to where he is standing.

"I would like to speak to you about something," he says stiffly, looking over my shoulder, like he would rather be doing anything _but_ talking to me.

I won't let it get to me, though. I'm going to do this.

"I wanted to talk to you, too,” I say.

"Fine. But not here." He’s still distractedly watching the other students who are slowly exiting the dining hall. It’s like he's worried about being seen by someone. I wonder who could have him acting like this.

“Alright. Where then?” I ask.

“Our room.”

“Okay.”

With one last hard look at the people behind me, Baz turns on his heel and heads in the direction of Mummers House, not even bothering to check if I'm following him.

I do. Of course, I do. I’ve been following him for years. I’m not about to stop now.

Baz doesn’t stop moving or look behind him until we are safely shut away in our room, away from the rest of the world.

“What did you want to talk about?” I ask when he just looks at me for a long moment with an unreadable expression.

“Andi.”

“What about them?”

“They’re cheating on you.”

“No, they’re not.” What is Baz on about?

“They are,” he says insistently, stepping towards me, where I still stand beside the door. “I saw them.”

I shake my head. “I don’t know what you saw, but I can promise you that that isn’t true.”

“Before dinner, I saw them kissing someone under the football stands. The same place I saw them kissing _you_ yesterday.” He looks away from me as he says this, like it’s hard for him to say.

“Oh.” _Oh_. Baz thinks that Andi and I are a couple. I feel myself blush, knowing that Baz saw me with them the other day. I didn’t think anyone saw us. “It’s not what you think,” I tell him.

“Then, what is it?”

“Andi and I aren’t together. They are allowed to kiss whoever they want.”

“What?” He asks, looking back at me, frowning. “But you were just together yesterday.”

“It isn’t like that.”

“What _is_ it like?”

I open my mouth to respond, but I start to wonder why he cares. It isn’t any of his business.

“I don’t owe you an explanation,” I say. It doesn’t matter why I kissed Andi, and I don’t have to explain it to Baz.

His jaw moves like he’s gritting his teeth, and his eyes flash. He takes a couple of steps towards me, wearing that expression he always does right before he hits me, and I throw my hands up to stop him.

“The Anathema,” I say.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he sneers. “I just want to know what’s going on with you and Andi.”

“Nothing. Why do you even care?” I ask curiously. Is Baz _jealous_?

“How can it be nothing? I saw that kiss. It didn’t _look_ like nothing.”

“Again, why do you care?”

“I don’t. I just—.”

“Just what?” I need him to tell me, to say something that would give me a clue to whether or not he likes me.

“I thought you liked them. And I just thought you might want to know if they were cheating on you.”

“Well, thank you,” I say slowly, surprised by the softness in his tone. “But they aren't cheating on me.”

“I can see that now, but you like them, don’t you? Why else would you kiss them?”

“There are lots of reasons to kiss someone,” I say. “It doesn’t have to mean that I like them. They aren’t the person that I like,” I add, wondering if there is still a way for me to say what I wanted to tonight.

“Oh. So, you were what? Trying to make someone jealous with that kiss?” Baz asks, sounding somewhat angry.

I shake my head. “No. I just wanted to know what it was like to kiss them.”

“Even though you like someone else?”

“Yes, because I don’t think that other person will ever like me back.” If the way Baz is acting is any indication, he just seems annoyed, but it still doesn’t explain why he’s asking so many questions.

“How do you know that they don’t like you?” He asks.

“Because it’s you!” I don’t mean to blurt it out like that, but this conversation is going nowhere. Softer, I say, “I like _you_ , Baz.”

**Baz**

My entire body freezes, and whatever I was going to say next leaves my mind.

Simon has to be joking. Right?

He doesn’t like me. That’s not possible.

He hates me, and there is no way that they will ever change.

“But what about Andi?” I ask because I can’t think of anything else to say.

He sighs, and this look crosses his face that makes him look pained just for a moment before he just looks annoyed.

“That was just a kiss,” he says. “It didn’t mean anything.”

“How do I know that you don’t just want a kiss with me?”

“If I just wanted to go around kissing people, I can promise you that it would be a whole lot easier to do it with people other than you.”

He has a point. I would be the last person he would come to if all he wanted was some fun. I’m the person he comes to when he wants to get out all of his aggression, not to french with under the football stands.

He takes a step towards me, and it takes all I have not to take two steps back and put more space between us.

“It would be different with you,” he says softly.

“How?”

“Because I like you, and I want more than just a kiss.”

He sounds earnest, and I want to believe him, but I don’t know if I should.

What if this is just fun with him? Sure, he says he has feelings, but what if that changes? What if he changes his mind about _me_? I’m not sure that I could take it if he did.

Still, he looks at me with those ordinary blue eyes in a way that I’ve never seen him look at anyone before, and my heart does a flip in my chest.

I so want to believe him. I want to take a chance to see if this is real. The only thing holding me back is the fear of getting my heart broken, but I’m willing to risk that if it means being with Simon.

I don’t say anything, but I take a step forward to show him that I’m thinking about it, that I’m not about to walk away.

The corner of his mouth twitches, and then he steps towards me so that we’re standing toe to toe now.

He looks up at me with a question in his eyes. He doesn’t have to say it aloud because I know what he’s asking, and my whole body is screaming the answer at him.

With a nod, I murmur the word, “yes.”

Then, he kisses me.

It feels like he puts his whole heart into it, kissing me so deeply that it nearly knocks me off my feet.

I’ve never kissed anyone before, but I know that if I had, it wouldn’t have felt anything like this. It wouldn’t have felt this right because it wouldn’t have been with Simon.

Simon has always been it for me. Even though I spent years wishing that he wasn’t.

I hated myself for wanting him, but now, I’m just grateful that he somehow found a way to like me back.

Because he has to like me. It has to be true.

You don’t kiss someone like this without feeling _something_.

This kiss… It feels magickal.

I would think it really was magickal if I didn’t know that Simon was so shit at magic.

No, this a real kiss. A very perfect, passionate kiss that I will never forget.

Simon breaks away and presses his forehead to mine, and I find myself smiling at him in a way that I swore I would never do.

“Do you believe me?” He whispers, and I can see how anxious he is.

He thinks that I’ll say no, that I’ll push him away after we just shared that fiery kiss.

“Yes. I believe you, Simon.” Then, it’s my turn to kiss him.

I feel him smile against my lips, and I know that this is real.

Simon likes me, and that’s not going to change anytime soon.

No matter what comes after this, no matter what the Mage or the Families or the Humdrum throws at us, we will have this. We will have us.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> I would love to hear what you all think either in the comments or over on [Tumblr](https://angelsfalling16.tumblr.com/)! :)


End file.
